As I write this post, my family is away, gone to help my in-laws move into their new home.
Two weeks is a very long time.
Yesterday I went to a public worship service. I went alone. It was the first time I’ve been to a public worship service since resigning from the pastorate, and it felt strange not to have my family with me.
It didn’t feel strange simply because I was by myself, but also because the words “family” and “worship” have become interrelated in my mind, things that go together. It felt strange because I’ve come to see worship as much more than a public gathering. Worship has to do with relationships more than it does rituals.
Worship, even family worship, is a way of life.
Family worship is not ONLY gathering together to sing, read the Bible, and pray. Family worship is more, yet simpler.
For a family where Christ is central, family worship is not a weekly event or gathering. Family worship is all of life.
It happens in the attitudes, conversations, relationships, and responsibilities of daily living.
And it happens because Christ is loved, praised, honored and exalted in the lives of parents before anything else.
Don’t wait for a scheduled time or place to worship together as a family. Family worship begins when you wake each morning, when you do chores together, when you talk of the day’s events, when you tuck in your children at the end of the day.
Family worship happens as you honestly share your own struggles, and how you are rediscovering God’s grace in the midst of them. Family worship happens as you give yourself to the LORD, in full view of your kids, and they witness what He is doing in you and through you. Family worship happens as they begin to embrace the God you’ve embraced – for themselves, because of your example.
Family worship is life together, lived humbly in the presence and by the power of Christ, who is the LORD of every family member.
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
When it comes to making educational choices for our children, we’ve not found any “formula” that works. I don’t think such a thing even exists. Our journey in this area has felt very schizophrenic at times. Our kids have home schooled, gone to public school, gone to charter schools, gone to private Christian schools, AND have even done on-line school.
The only consistent thing about our schooling is that we’ve been inconsistent!
Many Christian parents come up with crazy ideas about what truly constitutes “Christian Education”.
For example…
Some are very concerned about their child’s “social adjustment” and fear that if they are home schooled they won’t know how to look people in the eye or carry on a conversation. To them, this option would make their kids become weirdos.
Others are overly concerned about the intellectual part of the equation and obsess over academics. Their child must learn Latin, be schooled in the “classics” and rank in the top 10th percentile on standardized tests. To do anything less would seem irresponsible to them.
Then there are those who fear their kids being exposed to worldly things in those dirty, rotten, terrible, debased public schools. To them such a choice would be downright sinful.
I believe that ALL of these are mistaken notions. Don’t misunderstand, education is important and should be taken seriously, but there are more important things than what their grade point average is at the end of the year, how many friends they have, and how “unstained by the world” they are.
What Matters More?
The development of our children’s hearts.
There are a few, very simple questions that help me sort this out pretty quickly…
If my children were the most socially adept, well-liked, and popular kids in their school – but DID NOT have hearts that were passionately seeking to know Christ, what good would I have accomplished for them by making sure they were well socialized?
If my children were brainiacs, graduating at the top of their class, acing the ACT test, and getting scholarships galore because of their academic prowess – but DID NOT have a heart that was growing in love for God and love for their neighbor, what value would my careful attention to their intellectual development have?
I my kids never knew the names of the latest pop stars or television personalities, had only seen G-rated movies, and had no idea what homosexuality was – but DID NOT have the humility of heart to recognize their desperate need for the grace of God given through Christ, what advantage did I really give them in sheltering them from the “sinful” world?
More than good social skills, excellent academic opportunities, or protection from the world, your children (and mine) need parents who will diligently shepherd their hearts to love the LORD their God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength (Mark 12:30). And don’t forget… you have to go first!
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
Years back, my wife decided she needed some help getting into shape, so she struck up a conversation with a guy named Brian who attended our church. Brian was a personal trainer. Not only had we heard good things about him, we could tell from how he looked and from the kinds of things he ate, that he lived what he believed. When Mindi began workouts with Brian, she had no doubt about it! He was merciless! Over the years, Brian is one of many people who has demonstrated to me the power of a good example.
A good example is important to me. I don’t want to hire a personal trainer who weighs 350 pounds and eats monster cheeseburgers for breakfast! I want someone who has credibility, who’s done what it is that I’m wanting to do.
Why is there power in a good example? At least 3 reasons…
A good example shows us what is possible
A good example provides motivation
A good example encourages us
The power of a good example… in the Christian life?
photo: wikimediacommons.com
For some reason when we move into the realm of spiritual things, this whole issue gets a bit fuzzy. Christians are uncomfortable at the thought of actually having to be an example for somebody else. Maybe they’re controlled more by a sense of failure and need than they are by the grace given to them in Christ.
But you will get an even stronger reaction from Christians if a fellow Christian actually DOES put themselves forward as an example.
Whoa!!! Did he just SAY THAT? Who does he think he is, Jesus? Where does he get off thinking he’s so perfect?”Etc., etc. etc.
People who say such things don’t realize that the scriptures not only speak about the power of a good example, but encourage Christians to be such examples. One of the better known instances is Paul’s instruction to the Corinthians that they follow his example as he follows Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1). But there’s a TON more…
Does it bother you to hear a fellow Christian hold themselves up as an example? Do you feel like they are being arrogant, proud, or boastful? If so, why weren’t the biblical writers being boastful in the passages cited above? I want to suggest to you, that if you’re bothered by those things, you’ve got a wrong understanding of what it means to be humble.
Humility is not a “poor-me-I’ve-got-nothing-to-offer-because-I’m-such-a-sinner” attitude. Humility is seeing yourself rightly, as God does. Practically, that means:
If He’s given you grace, you are not proud to say so.
If He has given you a particular set of gifts, you are not boasting to openly speak of them.
If He has provided you with wisdom, you are not being arrogant to confidently apply that wisdom to the situations you (or others) face.
I said all that to say this…
The LORD has graciously given my wife and I a good deal of insight into what it takes to make Christ the center of our home… and we can help you make Christ the center of your home. The fruit of our home shows it to be true. That’s not bragging… it’s the humble testimony of what GOD has done in our lives and the repeated testimony of many other people. One of those people, a member of the church where we serve, gave that kind of testimony about us at a recent celebration our church had of its 25th anniversary.
Eric… about the Green family.
He served on the committee that was leading the church during the difficult 3 year period between Pastors. In the audio to the right, you can hear his recollection of the process, and his experience of our family (used with his permission… thanks Eric!).
Like I said at the beginning… if someone is going to help you g0 someplace you’ve never gone, they need to have some credibility. We do. Not because we are “all that,” but because the LORD is, and has done a very gracious and merciful work in our lives.
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
This is the last of the “chapters” in my Family Foundations series, aimed at helping you create a Christ-centered home. In case you haven’t noticed I want to draw two important things to your attention.
#1: So far I’ve said very little about many of the things typically addressed in a series about a Christ-centered home and family.
For example, I’ve hardly mentioned…
Marriage
Parenting
Home life
Finances
Family standards
Discipline of children
Communication
and the list could go on…
Of course, I’ve deliberately neglected those topics, and here’s why:
Those areas are not where you should begin when considering what it means to have a Christ-centered home.
They are the areas of home and family life that will demonstrate the fruit of a Christ-centered home, but not the sources of the fruit. Christ Himself is the source of Christ-centered fruit, and you MUST remember that as you begin thinking about what it will take for you to have a Christ-centered home.
Why is it so important to remember? It goes back to the issue of foundations, as Jesus taught in Matthew 7:24-29. In the final verses (28-29) you can see that the people of His day noticed something different about His teaching.
And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.
Jesus’ teaching doesn’t just carry authority, His teaching IS authority. It is the very word of God, along with the rest of the Bible… and the life that is built on His teaching is a life that is well-founded, built on the strongest of foundations. Jesus’ way and teaching is the only solid thing that your home or family can be built on, so you must start there. THAT is the beginning of a Christ-centered home.
#2: In this series, so far I’ve focused primarily on YOU, as an individual, not on your family as a group.
Each of us is first of all, responsible for ourselves before we truly can be responsible for others. Your own life is your primary area of stewardship out of which all the others flow. If you are not the best you Christ intends you to be, then the family you are to lead, influence, or contribute to will not be the family Christ intends it to be. In other words, a Christ-centered home is not possible if those who lead it are not Christ-centered themselves.
The word order in the name of this website reflects this truth:
Christian comes first. Before all else you must be a Christian – a Christ-follower, a Christ-like one, a disciple of the King of Kings and LORD of Lords. This is more than a religious title you pin on, it is your identity. Everything else should flow out of who you are in Christ. Stay with me on the blog, and we’ll explore that issue a TON more.
Home comes second. The relationships within your home, beginning with the marriage relationship (with the exception of a single-parent home), are some of the largest stones at the bottom of the walls of your Christ-centered home. The stability of relationship that exists between those leading the home is fundamental to the home’s stability. Don’t get these first two switched around… a home centered on a marriage instead of on Christ, is a home focused on an idol.
and Family comes last (but is often where we begin in thinking about these issues). Your family as a whole can and should be Christ-centered, in how it functions, how it communicates, how it expresses Christ for the world to see, etc. But it can’t and won’t if you get the order of focus switched around. Put Christ first in your life… and then you’ll see more clearly to help the others in your family put Him first in their lives.
Christian – Home – Family. That’s the order. It’s where I began with this series (and this website), and that’s where I end – because it’s the truth that guides and establishes the foundations of a Christ-centered home.
Q: What will you do with what you’ve learned so far?
Q: How will you begin ensuring that Christ is central to your life?
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
When it comes to body health, I must admit that I’ve been a typical American most of my life. Since the time I was small, I’ve eaten whatever was put in front of me, and too much of it. Once I made it past 21 or 22 years of age, my body weight seemed to balloon more easily than I thought possible.
The sad thing is, I didn’t consider my nutritional habits in light of what God thought at all. I knew the teachings of the Bible that instructed me to be a steward of the things God has given me… (Matthew 25:14-26), but I didn’t “get” that my physical health was one of those things.
What happened to make me aware of the connection was a gracious gift from the hand of God. Here’s the story…
My body health story
Due to a handful of factors, I found myself in need of a break from ministry in the fall of 2011. My church family allowed me to take a break from ministry (called a sabbatical) for 4 months, from November 2011 through February 2012. That’s right… for four months I was allowed to be off work, while still being paid. It was a lavish gift that I needed in many, many ways. I was weary, tired, mentally drained, and emotionally on edge. One of the phrases that came to mind, and that I said to people who were asking why I needed a break was this; ”If I don’t get a break, I’m going to break.” It was true.
One of the realities I was facing going in to the sabbatical was that I was overweight. As I began the time away, I was seeking to refocus on my relationship with the LORD and get the physical rest I needed so that I could return to the church energized and ready for the future. One of the things that became apparent to me and my wife (Mindi) was that we both needed to do something to improve our health. Our reasoning was simple… if we don’t work on our physical health when we have 4 months away from the demands and needs of ministry, we’ll never work on our physical health at all. It was the ideal time.
So, we began with prayer, diligently seeking the LORD to guide and help us. We’d tried to curb our eating before, eat healthier, etc. and had marginal success but it never really lasted long-term.
We never seemed to have enough will-power, but looking back I think it was something else… a lack of conviction that it was the “right” thing to do before God.
As we talked and prayed about work toward becoming physically healthy, the LORD was gracious to enable both of us to develop a godly conviction about the issue. The truth we realized is that our bodies really ARE temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19 ) and we had for many years been grieving Him by neglecting our physical health.
Graciously, the LORD led us both to a place of readiness, and we decided that our main goal was to be healthy. Not to lose weight. Not to look good. Not to impress people. Not to feel good about ourselves. Our main goal was to be healthy – because God would one day hold us accountable for the stewardship of our bodies, and because we wanted to give Him glory through the best use of our lives.
First, we got a membership at the local gym. Since we were on sabbatical, we had a luxury we’d never have before… the time to actually go to the gym multiple times a day – so we did. We went twice a day, 4 days a week (most of the time). The exercise was important, to be sure, but I’m convinced that changing our eating habits had the most dramatic effect. Here’s what we decided to do…
Some years prior, Mindi’s mom had given us a book entitled Eat To Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman[A]. It’s a common-sense book based on the up-to-date, combined scientific research of many studies. Dr. Fuhrman teaches the truth about what really is good nutrition and what is not. You’d be surprised at some of the things that the culture as a whole thinks are healthy, but actually have been proven to increase risk of disease and diminish health. I’ll likely write about some of those things in the future.
Once we reacquainted ourselves with Dr. Fuhrman’s book, we purchased his Immersion Excursion DVD set [A]. It’s a recorded set of lectures he gives at his annual Health Getaway[A] where people can go to learn about proper nutrition, be served the type of foods needed to get on track, and take the first steps toward optimal physical health. We had wanted to go to one of the retreats ourselves, but could’t afford it financially, so the DVD set was the next best thing. For us the DVDs proved to be better because we could pause, write things down, rewind to hear important statements again, and discuss his points mid-stream. We both benefited greatly by learning the facts about good nutrition according to modern, thorough research.
You can hear the short-version of Dr. Fuhrman’s philosophy and approach in the following video, then I’ll tell you the results of my health journey (so far).
To make a long story short, as I write this (May 2012), we are still following the basics of Dr. Fuhrman’s recommended diet, and each of us has lost over 40 pounds, and we both feel great! And it only took 4 months!
Though I have no reason to think that Dr. Fuhrman is a believer in Christ (though he could be), I believe he was God’s tool, used in our lives for our good.
Neither one of us can imagine going back to the way we were before. Life is just too good this way. And I feel in my heart that He’s helped us to honor Him in greater ways, and for that I’m thankful.
Our lives have changed in so many ways simply because we are healthier. My mind is sharp, my energy levels are up, and my appetite has mellowed out so that I don’t feel like I want to gorge myself every time we have yummy food (which is all the time… my wife’s a great cook).
Your body health story
Do you see yourself as a steward, under Christ’s authority, when it comes to your body? It’s hard to think that way in America, where everything we eat is filled with oil, or cheese, or sugar, or some man-made concoction you can hardly pronounce. Seriously considering the benefits of WHAT we are eating seldom happens. We just eat what is easiest, or what tastes best to us at the time. It’s easy to do… and it’s killing us.
Did you know that things like heart disease, cancer, and diabetes are entirely preventable and many times entirely curable through dietary means?
Dr. Fuhrman has hundreds of case studies from his 20+ years of medical practice, of these and other chronic ailments being entirely cured, solely through dietary changes. Why take all kinds of drugs, each with its own list of harmful side-effects, when you can eat the delicious foods God created your body to need, with additional benefits instead of side-effects?
Why am I telling you all this? Because I’m concerned for you. If you are like the average American, you likely have the beginnings of cancer or heart disease right now and don’t even know it. Your spouse or kids may be in the same boat too, and it’s all because of what and how much you eat. I know… it sounds like I’m crazy, but I’m telling you from my own experience, eating the “right” things that make your body run smoothly is a lot more enjoyable than eating all the sugary, fatty, “tasty” things. Not only because of the benefits, but also because your sense of taste readjusts to where you truly begin to enjoy the healthier foods.
Most of all, I’m concerned for your responsibility before the LORD. You have a wonderful opportunity to make the most of the life He has given you. The longer you live, the longer you can serve Him and bring Him glory, the longer your family will benefit from your presence, the longer you’ll be able to grow in the knowledge of Him. Your diet has a direct correlation to all those things… and you are responsible.
God will call us to account for how we’ve cared for our bodies. I’m sure of it. I fear that most American Christians (and perhaps most “western” Christians) are not going to hear the Father’s “well done” when it comes to their health.
We’ve abused our bodies for the sake of good tasting things… and that sounds very close to idolatry to me.
[affiliate resources mentioned in this post - more from Dr. Fuhrman available on the RESOURCE page, Body Health tab]
Eat to Live (paperback)
Eat to Live Audio Book
Immersion Excursion DVD set
Q: Have you given careful thought to the way you eat as it relates to your responsibility before God?
Q: What’s keeping you from making the changes you need to make?
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
A quick review: The soul is a mysterious and complex combination of three things – mind, will, and emotions.
Prior posts in this series
can be found here, here, & here
My soul health story
I didn’t grow up with a clear understanding of how the soul is arranged, or how it is designed to function. Unless those who raised you had a unique understanding of these things, you probably didn’t either. I was a pre-teen before I was able to recognize the distinctions between mind, will, and emotions. But that doesn’t mean that I understood them in relationship to my soul. I just knew they were all 3 in me someplace, and somehow made up “me.” And I knew that I didn’t understand them… especially the emotions.
I lived in that ignorance for many years until my wife and I came across the teaching of the late Dr. Bill and Anabel Gillham[affiliate link] of Lifetime Ministries. I remember listening to a cassette tape album of theirs on my Sony Walkman(c) as I drove to work. It was called ”The Victorious Christian Life.”
For the first time I was learning, from the scriptures, about the complicated mix that swirled around inside me every day – and I realized very quickly that it was a sinful mess.
Since that time, we have purchased and benefited greatly from a DVD series they produced called, “The Life,” which we’ve used in small group settings so many times I can’t remember all of them.
The truths Bill and Anabel gleaned from the word of God and shared with me were transformative. That’s not an exaggeration. What follows is my attempt at conveying those life-changing truths to you.
Before we get too far into it, let’s make sure we are clear on a few things…
The mind
Your mind is not the same as your brain. Your brain is a body organ, made of physical stuff: DNA, cells, etc. (body health will be covered in the next section). But your mind is something different. Think of it this way: while you are on planet earth, which is a physical place, your mind is expressedthrough the proper functioning of your brain, which is a physical body organ. But they are not one and the same. If your mind were your brain, then when your body died your ability to think would stop because your brain would no longer be functioning. But that can’t be the case because the Bible tells us that the life you are to enjoy with God after this life is through, is a life of great awareness (1 Corinthians 2:7-9; 2 Corinthians 5:8-9; Philippians 1:21-23; Philippians 3:20-21). In heaven you will still have a mind – the ability to think.
Your mind’s job is to analyze data having to do with your circumstances, situations, feelings, input from others, etc., and make recommendations about possible courses of action, to your will. So what does your will do?
The will
Your will is what Bill Gillham has called your “chooser.” It is at the top of the chain-of-command and eventually makes every decision, from small things to large things, from fairly trivial things to very important things. For example: with your will you decide what color of socks you are going to wear each day, and with your will you decide to obey God or disobey God. The will makes its decisions based on the input received from the mind and the emotions. I already told you how the mind analyzes data and makes recommendations to the will, but how do the emotions figure in to that? We’ll get there in just a minute… but first, a small but important detour.
It is popular in our day to hear people talking about humans having a “free will.” What is usually meant is that we have the ability to choose. No argument there, we not only have the ability to choose, but the responsibility before God to choose (one of many biblical examples: Joshua 24:14). But to say that our will is “free” implies much more than the ability to make choices… it is saying that our will is unhindered, unrestrained, that we have no limits on our will, which is surely not true. For example, I can will to fly up into the sky like Superman, but it won’t happen. That’s because my will is bound by many things (natural laws, limitations on my ability, God, etc.). As followers of Christ we must understand that our will, like every other created thing, is limited by the will of God (Proverbs 16:33). His will is the boundary beyond which our wills are unable to pass. That’s what we mean when we say that God is sovereign.
The emotions
Your emotions are the part of you that feels things like love, peace, anger, joy, fear, etc. God designed your emotions to be a blessing to you. But because you are tainted by the affects of sin, the way your emotions interact with the rest of your being is not always as God intended. I don’t have to tell you how powerful emotions can be (sorry, I just did). In Pastoral counseling (and my own life) I’ve seen that many, many individuals are controlled by their emotions, literally. You may be one of them.
When your emotions are dominant, you don’t think rationally through a situation. Instead, you wing-it based on what you feel. You might give some sort of credence to the facts and details of a situation, but in the end, you go with what you feel. You might even rationalize your decisions to fit what you feel. When that is your main mode of operation, you tend to make decisions that are not good. Personally, I’ve noticed that when my emotions are dominant I tend to act out of them. Fear, suspicion, insecurity – when I’m emotionally driven, these rule me instead of a commitment to obey God. I’m not saying your emotions are bad. I’m just saying that in your fallen state, your emotions are suspect.
How the soul is designed to work
In this section we are going to look at how all 3 parts of the soul – mind, will, and emotions – are designed by God to function. In other words, we’re going to examine the template, the prototype by which God designed us, so that we can use it as a standard by which to evaluate how our souls are actually functioning.
Using the diagram again, let’s look at how this triune nature of man is supposed to operate.
1. A circumstance occurs – anything from hearing a delightful song, to receiving news that a loved one has died.
2. That information comes to you through the body (eyes, ears, nose, etc.), and depending on the situation, your body may actually get involved in processing the information through hormonal or adrenaline surges, increased heartbeat, etc.
3. The information is relayed to the mind and emotions (the soul). The mind’s job is to evaluate the information based on the facts. The emotions evaluate the situation based on instinct or feeling, combined with any physical responses from the body.
4. Both mind and emotions pass on their “conclusions” about the situation to the will.
5. The Christian’s spirit engages with the will at this point. It will draw on insight from the word of God, the counsel of fellow believers, and the Spirit of God who indwells them, to come to a decision about the God-honoring, Christ-exalting way to handle or respond to the situation.
That’s how it is supposed to work.
In a healthy person, where things are working pretty much according to God’s design, there’s a likelihood that a good decision will be made. But in an unhealthy person (one with physical, mental or emotional difficulties… or strong flesh patterns), the chances of a good decision are drastically reduced.
Learning to steward your soul
Being a Christian doesn’t make you immune to the possibility of having an unhealthy soul. Because of some physical or mental limitation, you may be unable to mentally comprehend or grasp the realities you’re facing. Or you could be subject to emotional imbalances of varying degrees due to traumatic events in your past which limit your ability to respond rationally. My experience tells me that most people have “junk” in that last category that they don’t even know about.
The challenge you and I face as followers of Jesus Christ is in dealing rightly with what may be life-long habits of feeling, thinking, or behavior. And don’t kid yourself, it is a significant challenge.
You’ve been feeling, thinking, and behaving the way you do for your whole life, and by now it seems “normal” to you. But just because it’s “normal” to you doesn’t mean that it’s right or good or Christ-honoring.
God has revealed truth to us, through Jesus Christ and the revelation of the gospel, and as Bill Gillham used to say, we are “on the hook” to live in ways that are worthy of that truth (Ephesians 4:1; Philippians 1:27; Colossians 1:10; 1 Thessalonians 2:12).
It’s your responsibility, as a steward of the life Jesus Christ has given you, to have the healthiest soul you can possibly have, for His glory!
That’s a tall order, but not an impossible one, thanks to the gracious nature and lavish gifts of our God! He’s provided us Himself in the person of the Holy Spirit (John 14:16-17). His resources are now ours, to enable and empower lives that are indeed worthy of His gospel (John 15:5-8; Romans 8:3-4; Galatians 5:13-25, 2 Peter 1:3-4). As we continue walking through these topics together, I’ll unpack more of what it means to have Christ living in you through the Holy Spirit, and how that practically impacts daily living.
The connection to your Christian home and family
Simply because of the name of my website (ChristianHomeAndFamily.com), you might think that my first posts would be addressing marriage as the foundation for a home, or that I’d already be talking about biblical parenting strategies. But I haven’t – and of course, that’s intentional. I believe that a home and a family can only be Christ-centered when Christ is at the center of the individual lives of those who are leading and living in that home or family.
What does that mean practically? It means that before moms and dads attempt to find new parenting strategies or tips for a more peaceful home life, they need to learn how to live out the Christian faith they profess, in the way God has prescribed. They need to be able to consistently model what a healthy Christian is before they can pass it along to others in their home. Whoever you are (husband, wife, mom, dad, brother, grandparent, etc.), you need to be on the road toward centering your life around Christ before you can expect others to follow you.
That is what’s at the core of this website; individual people, walking daily with their Savior. Keep reading, learning, and applying what you receive here… and together we’ll move toward establishing our homes and families as ones that are truly Christian.
A homework assignment for you
I’ve given you a lot of information so far, and I know it can be mind-boggling when you first start something like this – especially if it is filled with entirely new concepts. Here’s my suggestion.
Take what you’ve already received (these first posts – here, here, here, and here on this page) and slowly digest them over the next few weeks.
Use them as your daily devotional or quiet time.Read and re-read the words, asking the Holy Spirit to teach you as you do. He will be faithful to help you.
When scriptures are given, look them up, ponder them, meditate on their truth. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly (Colossians 3:16).
If you find yourself stuck, or not understanding something… feel free to shoot me a question. I’ll help however I can.
Trust the LORD to guide you, because He will.
Q: How would you judge the health of your soul?
Q: What emotional, mental, or will-oriented things make it hard for you to obey Christ?
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
Of the 3 parts of man: body – soul – spirit, spiritual health is the area that most affects the rest of life.
Prior posts in this series
can be found HERE and HERE
Think about it… you’ve heard many stories of people with physical, mental, or emotional disabilities who are still able to live vibrant Christian lives because of a strong spiritual walk with Christ. Those are the kinds of testimonies that inspire us the most because they demonstrate how Christ’s life in us, through His Holy Spirit, is absolutely sufficient, no matter the obstacles.
Spiritual health: My story
My mother was already a faithful church goer the day I was born, and she still is today (she turns 84 the year of this writing). I joke sometimes that I was born right into the sin and degradation of the church nursery! No joke, I was in the church nursery the first Sunday after I was born.
The church we attended was an “Independent, fundamental, Bible believing, King James Only, women don’t wear pants” kind of Baptist church. To say it was conservative is an understatement. Thankfully, our church leadership was rabid about spreading the gospel, and I heard it clearly presented every week. By the time I was 5 years old, I had placed my faith in Jesus. I was very young, but the grace of God isn’t hampered by the age of the one He calls.
Growing up in that type of church, I learned all the Christian jargon and practices early on. I learned to address the adults in the church family as “Brother” or “Sister” so-and-so. I could give the right answers in Sunday School, could find the book of Hezekiah in my Bible (you try it, I dare you), and participate in “sword drills” right alongside the best of them. I went to church camp every summer once I became of age.
But one thing I didn’t developearly on was a sense of intimacy with Christ.
Maybe it was my youthful perspective, but church seemed to be about rules, and learning to be good, and “winning souls.” I was expected to learn and practice some very good and needful things, like prayer, and Bible reading – but the connection between those things and spiritual health were never made, at least not in a way that I understood.
By the time I hit high school, I was not much different than the average kid in my mid-sized, Texas town. I was “good,” but not necessarily because of Christ. Under the surface I was asking vital questions about my faith. “Is this all there is to Christianity? Rules? Trying harder? Being good?” I knew in my heart that if that’s all it was, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have it in me to pull it off, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to…
In spite of all that, God was very gracious. By the end of High School He had placed a handful of significant people in my life who seemed to have vibrant relationships with Jesus, and that gave me hope that perhaps there really was more to the Christian life. In college, I got involved in campus ministries that began to turn on some of the lights for me, making the connection between spiritual disciplines (bible study, prayer), and true relationship with Jesus. Spiritual health was finally making its way onto my radar, and I began to experience the reality of Jesus in new, life-giving ways. Praise Him for His faithfulness!
As I began to truly grow in my faith, one thought came dominantly to my mind, first as a hunch and later as a truth. Here it is:
Every issue that I face in life is really an issue of spiritual health.
It doesn’t matter if it’s financial, physical, emotional, relational, or practical – every issue is really a spiritual issue. That means that the degree of spiritual health I am experiencing at any given time will directly determine how I manage or handle the issues that touch my life. If I’m in good spiritual health, walking daily and vitally with the LORD, then I’ll be more likely to handle those situations with His grace and strength. If I am not in good spiritual health, then I don’t have much hope of handling the situation in a way that honors God and does what is right.
Spiritual health: Your story
The first thing I encourage you to assess and address is your spiritual health.
As I said before, you can’t expect to build a home centered around Christ if your life is not centered around Him first. How healthy are you, spiritually speaking? As a Christian (Christ-follower), it is imperative that you be closely connected to your Master at all times. He is your rock, your center, your life, your power for living. Those are not just church-speak, they are statements of divine reality. Without His divine person abiding in you, in an “at home” sort of way, you will experience a continual frustration to be healthy as a person.
Jesus taught these truths by using an image common to the people of His day… a vine.
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. - John 15:4-5
Notice two of the clarifying phrases that Jesus uses:
Abide in me (translation: “stay closely connected to me”)
Apart from meyou can do nothing. (translation: “without a vital spiritual relationship with me, you’re done”)
This is a classic “if / then” statement. IF you abide in Jesus, THEN you will bear much fruit in your life. IF you do not abide in Jesus, THEN you can do nothing.
When Jesus says that apart from Him you can do nothing, He’s not saying that there’s absolutely no way you can function in this world when you are not close to Him. You’ll still breathe, you’ll still walk through life, and make decisions, and speak to people, and accomplish things. But you won’t be able to do anything of lasting, spiritual significance, things that are “much fruit” in Jesus’ eyes, apart from walking closely with Him.
That’s talking about spiritual health.
So let me ask you again, how is your spiritual health? Can you see evidence in your life, the “much fruit” Jesus spoke of, that shows you that you are walking closely with Him?
Your Spirit – Before and after Christ
Before you came to faith in Christ, you had a spirit, but it was dead (Ephesians 1:2-5; Colossians 2:13; Ephesians 5:14; 1 Peter 3:18). Practically, that means that before God graciously reached out to you through the enlivening work of the Spirit, you were unable to commune with Him at all (1 Corinthians 2:14). You simply functioned out of your mind, will, and emotions without much true awareness of Him. Dead people do not speak, act, or respond – and spiritually you were dead.
When Christ awakened you to faith through the work of His Holy Spirit (John 6:44; John 6:63;Romans 8:9; Romans 8:15; 2 Corinthians 3:16-18), your spirit came alive, you were “born again” (John 3:3). Being awakened by the Spirit, you were able to respond to God’s grace, revealed to you in the person of Jesus Christ. You recognized your need for rescue from your sinful state, and saw that Jesus is the Savior of sinners. That was the moment of faith, the moment of your conversion.
Once God’s Spirit comes into your life and raises your spirit from the dead, you embark on a journey you’ve never known before. For the first time you have more to concern yourself with than only body and soul – you are body, soul, and a new-born spirit. You are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17; Colossians 3:9-10), alive because the Creator Himself now dwells within you (Colossians 1:27;Galatians 2:20).
That is the point where the vine and branch illustration comes to the forefront. As a person who is trusting in Jesus, you have a divine resource you never had before – the Holy Spirit of God, living inside you in a very real way. It is through the Spirit that Jesus lives in you, and desires to live through you. He is your life, your source, the well from which you are to draw, day after day.
Like any new life, this new life needs nourishment if it is to survive.
The things you’ve heard all your Christian life are true – you do need to read the Bible daily. You need to learn how to pray. You need to spend time with the Lord, as you would in any relationship. On the resources page of the website, you will find tools to help you with the practical, day to day task of keeping your faith strong and your relationship with Christ vital, including a 19 session “Spiritual Growth Notebook” I compiled years ago. Feel free to download it… it’s free.
Over the years, Mindi (my wife) and I have come to believe that most personal problems we have, whether they be emotional or mental, start out on the spiritual level. When you are walking closely with the Savior, drawing from His strength day to day, the difficulties of life don’t affect you in the same way they once did. You find yourself possessing strength and stability you didn’t have previously. I’m not saying life’s suddenly easy or perfect. I am saying that you now have the means by which to live out a successful Christian life, because the only one who has ever lived that kind of life (Jesus) is now living within you.
Spiritual Check-Up
If you go to your doctor for a physical, he’ll use a stethoscope, tongue depressor, a blood-pressure cuff, and various other tools to measure how your body is functioning at that moment. By doing so, he makes an estimation of your overall physical health.
When it comes to assessing your spiritual health we have no such tools (wouldn’t it be nice if we did?). To gauge spiritual health, you’ll have to do a more subjective evaluation, which makes the process more difficult. Jesus said that it is “out of the heart” that sinful (and good) actions and words come (Matthew 12:24). I take that to mean that if you want to do a spiritual check-up, you’ll have to honestly look at the state of your heart as expressed in attitudes and actions.
Sounds pretty simple, but it’s not. That’s because there are many things we can easily be objective about, but our own hearts is not one of them. We’ve lived in our sin-soaked selves for so long that we believe that the way we think and feel is “normal.” But in reality much of how we’ve come to think and feel is based on human wisdom, worldly philosophies, and self-protection, instead of on the truth of God. The Bible calls these old habits of thinking and feeling “flesh” (Romans 8:4-13), or the “old self” (Romans 6:6; Ephesians 4:22; Colossians 3:9).
When we become a child of God through faith in Jesus Christ, we are given a new heart, but our old habits of thinking and feeling linger in our souls. The process of Christian growth is all about learning to lean on the truth of God as our mode of operation, instead of the distorted beliefs and feelings we’ve embraced all our lives.
The reason I point out the existence of the “flesh” that still hangs onto you, is because I believe you’re going to need some help doing a spiritual check-up.
You don’t see yourself clearly, and you need an objective set of eyes to help you. The first Person you need to enlist as an ally is the Holy Spirit.
In describing the Spirit’s role in our lives, Jesus said He is “the Spirit of truth” (John 14:7), our “helper” and “teacher” (John 14:26), and our “guide” (John 16:13). The Apostle Paul teaches that Holy Spirit “leads” us in our Christian life (Romans 8:14), and helps us to understand the things God has done and is doing I our lives (1 Corinthians 2:12). As we specifically battle our flesh, the Spirit directly opposes it, and leads us in the opposite direction (Galatians 5:16-18). The first thing you should do is adopt a mindset of dependence on the Holy Spirit. Ask Him to reveal things that are keeping you from being spiritually healthy, no matter how difficult they may be to face. Submit yourself fully to His guidance.
Secondarily to the Holy Spirit, you’ll probably need the help of a trusted Christian friend. Think of someone who is a devoted follower of Jesus, someone who cares deeply for you and your spiritual health. They should be a person who knows you fairly well and has opportunity to interact with and observe you in a variety of settings. It may be a spouse, a parent, a teacher from church, or someone else – but you need to include another objective opinion in your assessment so that your blind-spots do not remain outside your vision.
Though we can’t get specific measurements of your spiritual condition, as the doctor would regarding your physical condition, we can use a handful of practical tools to help in the process. As I mentioned a few paragraphs back, your attitudes and actions reveal much of what is going on inside your spirit, and you are wise to pay close attention to them.
The following questions are based on the Apostle Paul’s teaching in Galatians 5:16-26. There, Paul provides two lists – one that details the type of things that we think and do when we are controlled by our flesh, and another that highlights the type of things that we think and do when we are controlled by the Spirit. Use these lists as gauges or barometers, to help you assess the state of your spiritual health. You don’t have to be perfect in any of the areas listed, but you should be progressing in humble growth as you desire to please the LORD.
Give a copy of these questions to that trusted person you identified a minute ago. Ask them to answer the questions as honestly as they can as they pertain to you. I have no doubt that their participation will help you immensely.
Questions for a spiritual check up (based on Galatians 5:16-26)
Vs. 16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Vs. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Vs. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Vs. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, Vs. 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, Vs. 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Vs. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Vs. 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Vs. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Vs. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Vs. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Works of the flesh
Do you have a true desire (not just a feeling of obligation), to live obediently under the leadership of the Spirit of God? (vs. 16-18)
Are you currently engaged in any form of sexual immorality, impurity, or sensuality (vs. 19, 21)? Some possibilities to consider are adultery, sex before marriage, pornography, sexting, sex games, inappropriate flirting, etc. How does this reflect on your ability and willingness to be satisfied fully with the delights of relationship with God?
Can you identify anything in your life that draws too much focus and attention in comparison to the rest of your life and responsibilities (an idol – vs.20)? You might consider your work, career, family, hobbies, recreation activities, entertainment, etc.
Are you practicing any sort of spirituality that focuses on gaining or using spiritual power for selfish ends (sorcery – vs. 20)? You might consider astrology, health and wealth theology, use of crystals, past life investigations, native American spiritism, use of spells or incantations, etc. These are areas of spiritual dependency not focused on God. What does that say for the health of your relationship with Him?
Are there any situations where you feel a sense of being “against” another person (vs. 20)? Do you have any sense in which you can honestly say you love them, or are your feelings toward them entirely negative? Does God’s great mercy on you cause you to consider an attitude of mercy toward that person at all (Matthew 18:23-35)?
Do you find yourself struggling with jealousy or envy toward others (vs. 20, 21)? How does this reflect on your ability to trust God with your needs and desires?
Do you struggle with unrighteous anger (vs. 20)? Consider possible patterns of behavior you might have such as yelling, throwing things, cursing in response to issues, breaking things, and physically or emotionally intimidating or hurting others. What does this kind of anger indicate about whether or not you are resting in God’s good will and plan for your life? Who are you really angry at, the person or situation, or God?
Is there any regular pattern of substance abuse ongoing in your life (vs. 21)? Consider alcohol, drugs (including marijuana), pain killers, prescription medications, coffee, sugar, etc. How does dependence on any substance reflect on your willingness and ability to depend on God?
Paul ends this list with the phrase, “and things like these.” Are there any additional hang-ups in your life that you feel are detrimental to your healthy relationship with God?
Read the last sentence of vs. 21. What will be the final outcome if your spiritual life is controlled by these kinds of things rather than by the Spirit of God? Ponder the significance of that possibility.
Fruit of the Spirit
Is love for other people a growing part of your attitudes and actions (vs. 22)? If not, what does that say about your awareness of and cooperation with the Spirit of God within you?
Is your life characterized by joy most of the time (vs. 22)? I’m not asking if you are happy all the time, I’m asking if you are able to see God’s silver lining behind the clouds of difficult circumstances and live in light of it most of the time? If not, what do you need to do to strengthen your confidence in God’s loving sovereignty in your life?
Are you generally a peaceful person (vs. 22)? How could you better draw on the Spirit’s strength to rest in Him when difficult situations arise?
Does patience characterize your attitude toward people and circumstances (vs. 22)? What does impatience reveal about your ability to trust God with all things, including people? Do you intentionally lean on the Spirit of God, asking Him to help you here?
Would you describe yourself as a “kind” person (vs. 22), or are you characterized more as being distant, aloof, or non-engaging? As you look at this issue, what is controlling you most of the time, your insecurities or the Spirit of God?
Do you enjoy and look for ways to express “goodness” in life and toward others (vs. 22)? I’m not only asking if you DO good things, I’m asking if you DESIRE to do and be good for the sake of others. Ask the Spirit to reveal what He sees in you.
Are you a faithful person (vs. 22)? To your spouse and family? To your employer? To your friends? The Spirit of God produces a reliable, trustworthy spirit in you as you submit to Him. How would you assess your health in this area?
Are you generally kind to people (vs. 22), or do irritability, harshness, indifference, disregard, or aloof attitudes characterize you?
Does goodness characterize the tone of your life (vs. 22)? In other words, are you seen by others as a person who loves and does good?
Is faithfulness characteristic of your life (vs. 22)? In other words, do you keep your word? Can others depend on you to fulfill your commitments and responsibilities? Do you live out an active faith toward God?
Are you a gentle person (vs. 23), or does a grim, stern, or even harsh attitude describe you better?
Do you practice self-control regularly in the normal course of your life (vs. 23)? Some ways to tell… are there any lingering habits that you struggle to break? Do you “fly off the handle” easily? Can you say “No” to that tempting dessert when you are watching your diet?
Prayerfully consider these questions, taking the time necessary to truly hear from the LORD about the condition of your spiritual life. It may seem overwhelming, so break it down into bite-sized chunks.
You can take these steps to process what the LORD has revealed…
Write down “themes” or patterns about your behavior that you notice.
Prayerfully narrow them down to the 2 or 3 “biggies” you believe the LORD would have you address.
Ask the LORD to give you a heart that desires to see His will accomplished in those areas.
Find passages of scripture (maybe from the passage above) that reveal God’s will regarding those issues.
Write them on a card to take with you each day.
Use that card to make your focus on those areas a “project” – something you are prayerfully attentive to each day.
Start each day asking God to transform you in those areas.
Q: How are you doing spiritually?
Q: What steps do you need to take to shore up any areas that are lacking?
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
As I said in the last post… your stewardship before God begins with yourself. You can’t lead others to be healthy, unless you are healthy. You won’t be able to lead others, until you lead yourself – and I’m sure you know, that’s not as easy as it sounds. We are complex creatures.
God made us beautifully complex from the moment of creation. Unspoiled by sin, I’m sure Adam and Eve were a wonder to behold. I wish I could have known them (someday I will). But when sin entered the picture it twisted their (and our) beautiful complexity into a mess that is itself complicated beyond recognition. Emotional instability, mental illness, birth defects, personality issues, and many more such things are examples of what sin’s presence in the world has done to us. Because of that fact, every one of us has been tainted by sin’s far-reaching effects in multiple ways, from the inside out.
THAT is a big part of why it’s extremely difficult for us to take responsibility for ourselves.
We are broken in ways beyond our comprehension, but nevertheless are called by our Savior to be responsible stewards anyway.
That’s the starting point for this website & everything I have to say. You are probably here because you want to build a Christ-centered home: to have a healthy, Christ-honoring marriage, to see your children love the LORD with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, to extend His kingdom through your family. But before we can go there, we have to understand this: we don’t have a chance of creating Christ-centered homes unless we learn how to be Christ-centered, healthy individuals first.
If you are going to be a good steward of yourself, then you need to understand yourself as best you can. You, and everyone in your home, are created by God in a “triune” sort of way. You are made up of body, soul, and spirit. I know there’s been an ongoing debate through the years about whether man is made up of two parts (body and soul) or three parts, as I’ve suggested. I’m not going to get into all that, for two reasons.
1) There are plenty of other, wonderful resources where you can find information on that debate.
2) I’m personally settled on the issue after years of study. I truly believe the scripture clearly teaches that God has made us with body, soul, and spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23).
What do I mean by those?
The body is obvious, it’s the biological shell that houses us as we walk planet earth. It requires nutritious food, adequate rest, and sufficient exercise in order to do its job.
The soul is an intangible part of us that is comprised of mind (our ability to think), will (our ability to choose), and emotions (our ability to feel).
The spirit is also intangible and is the part of us that discerns, understands, and applies truly spiritual things. The spirit of the Christian communes directly with God, and grows into Christ-likeness over time through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:14, 1 Corinthians 6:11).
It sounds neat and tidy the way I’ve just explained it, but it’s not. The three parts of man are woven together in intricate ways that will forever remain a mystery to us. But for our purposes it is helpful to recognize these three parts of who we are. Each of them is an area of our own lives over which God has made us stewards. In other words, we are to rightly manage and care for every part of who God has made us to be – body, soul, and spirit.
Personally, I have traveled far too long on the road of life without a balanced and right awareness of my responsibility in each of those areas. At any given time, I have excelled in maintaining one, or in good seasons possibly two of them, and ignored the other(s).
As God has shown me the importance of being healthy in all three areas, He’s brought a deep conviction to my heart, and has convinced me that I need to pass those convictions on to others who are willing to learn, listen, and apply them to their own lives. My prayer is that you might be one of them.
I said all that to say this…
It won’t take you long to notice that in every area of this website, the theme of good stewardship in all 3 of those areas will be emphasized repeatedly. To use a modern phrase, I’m addressing the health of the Christian home and family in a “holistic” way, which should be nothing new, since it’s how God has always seen us and dealt with us. In approaching your life and home in this way, I’m encouraging you to take Paul’s words seriously when he says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31).
In the pages of this website, I’ll cover areas that seem natural for a website focusing on the Christian home and family – marriage, parenting, communication, etc. But I will also write on things that may not seem to fit that topic as naturally – nutrition, exercise, education, etc.
The reason?
God intends our lives to be integrated, not segmented or compartmentalized, and the stewardship of our lives needs to be carried out in light of that truth.
So, as we wrap up this post, prayerfully and seriously consider:
You are body – physical, with physical needs.
You are soul – emotional, mental, willful, all which have their particular needs.
You are spirit – able to relate to God in deep, meaningful relationship. Your spirit has its distinct needs as well.
And here’s the kicker – you are RESPONSIBLE before God to steward each of those areas well.
Q: What difference does it make to you that you are body, soul, and spirit?
Q: How can you better steward yourself (and consequently, your family) in all 3 of those areas?
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
It took me 45 years of life, 23 years of marriage, 5 kids, and a TON of God’s grace to truly “get” what I am praying you will get from this post. It’s my prayer that the LORD will do a work in you to help you get it much sooner. So, let me start by telling you about the day I had my first deep convictions about the issue…
My stewardship story
My wife and I married in 1989, and in 1991 our first son Aaron was born. One morning after we got him home from the hospital I was sitting in his room doing some reading. Given the circumstance, it probably won’t surprise you to know that I was reading a book on the subject of fatherhood. As I was finishing up the last page of the book that morning, the very last sentence caught my attention in a way I’ll never forget. Though I don’t remember the exact words, the idea was this:
“In the end, what matters is that I am a good husband and an effective father. By comparison, nothing else matters.”
That last statement hit me right in the heart. ”By comparison, nothing else matters.” It was an extreme statement, and it got me thinking. My mind began to create a hypothetical situation similar to what the author was suggesting. I found myself imagining the following, and it changed my life.
I saw myself as an old man, looking back on the events of my life. I imagined being wildly successful as a minister of the gospel (since full time ministry was where I was headed). I thought of the most extreme and successful example I could, a “ what if” scenario. What if I were able to become a widely known and effective evangelist like Billy Graham? What if I were to become a well-known author and speaker, like Chuck Swindoll? What if the LORD chose to bless me in such an unbelievable way? Surely that would be a life to be proud of. But how would it be if, in the midst of that degree of ministry success, the members of my own household did not evidence genuine faith in Christ? What if the demands of ministry, as important as they are, drew me away from diligently shepherding my own family?
My newborn son was lying in his crib, 6 feet away. I closed the book and walked over to the crib where he was sleeping. He was a treasure beyond compare; a staggering gift with which I had been entrusted. To see him eternally lost because of my own ignorance, negligence, or laziness was an unbearable thought, and a regret I couldn’t imagine living with. That is the first time I remember being aware of a vital truth that has continued to shape me to this day.
Aaron, then and now – with Hannah his new wife
Before I am anything else, I am a follower of Jesus Christ; and as a follower of Christ I am responsible for everything and everyone He has given to me. I am a steward.
In that moment, what that meant was this: If I were to succeed in any other realm, but failed in leading my own family to a lasting, genuine faith centered around Christ, then I would be a failure in life. I have come to believe that is the way God sees it. My family is one of my greatest responsibilities. They are my first disciples. And the fact that I will someday answer to the living God for the leadership of my family has become a powerful and constant motivation in my life.
What I learned that morning has deep implications for how I go about life. For example, I cannot serve my family well, if I am not well. I cannot lead them if I am unable to lead myself. Areas of my life that once seemed unrelated to the leadership of my family have come into focus as direct contributors to it. My health, my work, my lifestyle choices, my finances, my ideas and dreams, the relationships I have with people outside my immediate family – these are just the beginning of the things that directly impact how I steward the family God has given me to lead.
Practically speaking, here are some examples of what it means for me:
If my family is to be honest and trustworthy, I must take the lead in being honest and trustworthy myself.
If I want my children to be physically healthy, I have to set the pace by stewarding my own health well.
If I want to raise God-fearing kids, I must first fear God myself.If I desire them to be students of the scriptures, I have to set the example for them to imitate.
If I long for prayer to characterize their lives, I must first be a man of prayer myself.
If I want love and godly character to be the hallmark of their lives, I must first learn to walk in the power of the Spirit to be those things myself.
And the list goes on, and on, and on, and…
DO YOU GET IT?
Before you read any further, I want you to consider how these things apply to you.
Are you a husband?
A wife?
A parent?
A grandparent?
For what and whom are you responsible before God?
This website is about YOU, not someone else.
It is about your responsibility before the living God for the life, people, and things He’s given you. It is about your stewardship before God. Have you taken the time to consider the true weight of responsibility all of that is? Once you see it, what will you do about it?
In everything I post on this website, I want to help you stoke the flames of godly accountability for your own life and your own family, until that fire of responsibility burns strongly in your heart. Whether you are a dad like me, or a mom, or a grandparent, or an older brother or sister, our LORD desires to use you to make an eternal difference in the lives of those He’s given you to shepherd. You are an integral part of His plan to spread His fame and blessing throughout creation.
I exhort you to let that responsibility weigh on you appropriately, so that you will be motivated to be intentional about fulfilling it.
Stewardship, under the leadership of Christ, is the issue.
Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect. “Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ and begins to beat his fellow servants and eats and drinks with drunkards, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know and will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. - Matthew 24:44-51
It’s possible that you’ve read this far and can’t say you personally know Jesus as your LORD and Savior. If so, nothing on this page really matters to you… not yet. You need to become a part of the family of God, through faith in Jesus Christ before it can. Please… don’t pass off the opportunity to know for sure that you are forgiven and accepted by God Himself. Take the time to go to this link, and prayerfully consider what God has done to show His love to you. You’ll be glad you did.
Q: How seriously are you taking YOUR stewardship before God?
Q: What steps will you take to make changes in the right direction?
radical follower of Christ, husband, dad, writer, blogger, podcaster, marriage & family coach, counselor, speaker, retiring Pastor, and all around good guy (because of Christ).
Connect with Carey on Google+
What Matters More?
Jesus’ teaching doesn’t just carry authority, His teaching IS authority. It is the very word of God, along with the rest of the Bible… and the life that is built on His teaching is a life that is well-founded, built on the strongest of foundations. Jesus’ way and teaching is the only solid thing that your home or family can be built on, so you must start there. THAT is the beginning of a Christ-centered home.
1.
Before you came to faith in Christ, you had a spirit, but it was dead (Ephesians 1:2-5; Colossians 2:13; Ephesians 5:14; 1 Peter 3:18). Practically, that means that before God graciously reached out to you through the enlivening work of the Spirit, you were unable to commune with Him at all (1 Corinthians 2:14). You simply functioned out of your mind, will, and emotions without much true awareness of Him. Dead people do not speak, act, or respond – and spiritually you were dead.
